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Werewolf Movie

WOLFCOP

(Digital and DVD; IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT/CINE COUP MEDIA/VORTEX WORDS AND PICTURES (79 minutes; Unrated); 2015)

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I ain’t gonna lie… When I first heard about the release of WOLFCOP, I knew the thing was gonna be stupid, possibly even too stupid for me. But, then, I saw the trailer and, as soon as the werewolf cop was identified as Deputy Lou Garou (for those among you who are mythologically deprived regarding such beasts, Google the term “loup garou”), I realized that I was right and knew that I had to watch it. WOLFCOP is gloriously idiotic and I love it!

WOLFCOP (Amy Matysio; Sarah Lind) (publicity stills)
WOLFCOP (Amy Matysio; Sarah Lind) (publicity stills)

Deputy Garou (the magnificently deadpan Leo Fafard), perpetually inebriated and hungover, seemingly doubles as Woodhaven’s town drunk; to say that Lou is a loutish loser, a laughing stock and a poor excuse for an officer of the law would be an understatement. Conversely, Lou’s law-enforcement counterpart, Tina (the deceptively hot Amy Matysio), is all business (and recipient of the department’s “Employee of the Month” award for something like two years running). On this fine day, Garou shows up more than two hours late for his shift and in a barely upright position just as Tina takes a call from Lou’s one and only friend, Willie (a real lugnut, played to the hyper-kinetic hilt by Jonathan Cherry); Willie is certain that he has solved the mysterious disappearances of the pet population of Woodhaven (a malady that has befuddled the locals for quite some time): Satan worshiping teenagers, all hopped up on booze and drugs. When Garou isn’t on duty… heck, even when he is on duty, he frequents the local watering hole, the Tooth and Nail, owned by the voluptuous Jessica (voluptuously portrayed by Sarah Lind). Lou investigates Willie’s disturbance call from a bar stool at Jessica’s place, eventually returning to the Sheriff’s office to sober up before the end of his shift. As the deputy’s shift ends, the Sheriff (a no-nonsense character played by Aiden Devine and who is called “Chief” here – must be a Canadian thing… the deputies are called “officers”) takes another disturbance call; Tina, whose shift is just beginning, volunteers to check it out, but the Chief, tiring of Lou’s antics, is intent on making the bleary-eyed slob investigate. Lou awakens the next morning, after what seems to be a particularly wicked nightmare sees him captured and tortured by a Satanic cult. It was, he soon discovers, no dream, as the pain he is experiencing and the blood on his clothes soon reveal a pentagram carved into his chest. He soon realizes that there is definitely something weird going on… as he shaves, his beard regrows almost immediately; he has super-sensitive hearing and he can smell things in the air that he never could before.

WOLFCOP (Leo Fafard) (publicity still)
WOLFCOP (Leo Fafard) (publicity still)

The entire Sheriff’s Department is called in to investigate the gruesome death of the opponent of Woodhaven’s mayor in the upcoming election. The scene elicits shards of memories of the previous night in Garou’s fevered mind; everything seems so familiar to him. The brutal attack is quickly chalked up to another killing by the “Woodhaven Beast,” prompting the mayor and the city fathers to cancel the “Woodhaven Beast Drink and Shoot,” an annual soiree of booze and bullets. With all of this swirling around in his head, Deputy Lou Garou does something he has never done before: He takes notes and digs into the archives of the city’s newspaper and police files, searching for clues to solve this mysterious death (and, maybe, find some answers about his father’s death decades earlier) – all, of course, with drink in hand. Still unsure of what has happened to him, Lou takes Jessica up on an after-hour rendezvous at the Tooth and Nail that, as these things often do, goes terribly wrong… beginning with one of the most gruesome man-into-wolf turning scenes I’ve ever seen.

WOLFCOP (Jonathan Cherry; Leo Fafard) (publicity stills)
WOLFCOP (Jonathan Cherry; Leo Fafard) (publicity stills)

And then, things start to get weird. Apparently, the cult isn’t so much of the Satanic variety as they’re really a bunch of two-hundred-plus years old shape-shifters who’ve been running the city of Woodhaven and thinning the herd to keep their secret safe. Every once in awhile (say… every 32 years, coinciding with a solar eclipse, which, by the way, is fast approaching), these shape-shifting seniors must enact a bizarre ritual that involves sacrificing a werewolf, freeze-drying the mutt-man’s blood and snorting it. Huh! And here I am, thinking that moisturizer is the ultimate answer. Willie, being in close proximity to the murder and subsequent attack and turning of Lou, confronts the deputy, offering proof of his affliction and vowing to help him through the full moon; Willie locks Lou in a jail cell, sets up a camera to film his change and, to calm him down after he wolfs out, plies him with booze and doughnuts (from the aptly named convenience store, Liquor Donuts), along with a very competitive game of Go Fish. Alone in the department headquarters, Werewolf Lou takes a 911 “robbery in progress” call; having dispatched the criminals and with Willie along for the ride, Lou, exhibiting his heightened strength, tears the driver’s side door off of his car. So, what’s a diligent member of the constabulary to do? Why, modify the cruiser into a weird Green Hornet kinda avenging angel type of thing, of course.

WOLFCOP (Leo Fafard) (publicity still)
WOLFCOP (Leo Fafard) (publicity still)

While cruising the back roads in the modified patrol car, Garou literally follows his nose to the hide-out (and meth lab) of the local gang. Mayhem ensues in one of the wildest fight sequences ever shot in a movie about a werewolf cop. After a bit of random dismemberment (and an epic explosion… I did tell you about the meth lab, right?), Lou and Willie return to headquarters, where they’re met by little red riding hooded Jessica. After a disturbingly bizarre sexual interlude (complete with cheesy faux disco ballad), Jessica’s true nature is revealed, as she changes into the mayor (Corinne Conley) before the knock-out drug she slipped Lou takes effect. Things begin to happen – and changes take place – rather quickly from that point. Lou wakes up chained to the tree of the Reckoning, with less than an hour before the eclipse. He looks at the mayor, disgust in his eyes and in his voice: “I can’t believe I slept with a 200 year old woman!” “Who said I’m a woman?” The cavalry arrives in the form of Tina, who watched surveillance video of the cell area where Lou had sequestered himself the night before. Shots are fired, people are wounded and killed; Lou wolfs out as the eclipse begins, people (lizard-like changelings, actually) are severely damaged. Of course, the good guys (good dog?) win and, as they walk off into the sunset (the eclipse only lasts about eight minutes), Lou says, “I can use a drink.” Tina, wounded in the exchange, replies, “I could use a hospital.” “Okay. Two stops.” Stick around for an after credits scene that ties in a seemingly random sequence from very early in the proceedings. It’s funny and brings everything back around to the front… so to speak.

WOLFCOP (Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio) (publicity still)
WOLFCOP (Leo Fafard, Amy Matysio) (publicity still)

So, does WOLFCOP deserve your hard-earned shekels? Oh, yeah! Sure, the plots dumb but, it never strays and, in the end, delivers a pretty good story. The fact that the movie never takes itself too seriously is a definite plus. There are some nice twists and turns and surprises and, while wolf Lou isn’t as scary as others we’ve seen on film, the make-up and special effects (especially the turning sequences) are way-above average for a small-budget production. The whole thing is well-produced, the music is effective and the fight sequences aren’t horrible… those are things that you can’t always say about a big-budget monster. As you can tell from the stuff I told you about some of the scenes, this movie isn’t intended for kids younger than, say, fifteen; anyone else into the werewolf, horror, crime or comedy genres should get a real kick out of it. And, be warned… WOLFCOP II is on the way! Why not? They’ve already got a cool theme song!

WEREWOLF RISING

(IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT/RUTHLESS PICTURES (79 minutes; Unrated); 2014)

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As werewolf movies go, WEREWOLF RISING is certainly… something. I’m not really sure what it is. It’s not horrible, it’s not totally unwatchable, it’s just… I don’t know… rather low on the werewolf quotient (almost to the point of being werewolf free) and kinda schizophrenic, as to the type of movie it’s meant to be. It would appear that one of two things is happening here: Writer/director BC Furtney accidentally mixed the scripts to three different movies together or, a lot of the holes in plot and story occurred because the script was pared down due to budget constraints (but, then, I’m just not sure if this kind of flick has an audience that would sit through the extra hour or so it woulda taken to untangle this beast. That seems highly unlikely). So, since it is what it is and that’s all we’ve got, let’s look at the good and the bad of this film, shall we?

WEREWOLF RISING (Danielle Lozeau) (publicity still)
WEREWOLF RISING (Danielle Lozeau) (publicity still)

The opening sequence is probably the best five minutes of the entire movie, though it is not glitch free. An evil looking guy (Bill Oberst, Junior as Rhett) is threatening bad things to a young woman. He has just escaped from prison, kidnapped her and forced her to drive him to the middle of nowhere (actually, the middle of the Arkansas hills), where he intends to rape and kill her. Evil looking Rhett is interrupted by a noise in the underbrush, goes to check it out and is attacked by a giant beast (a beast that looks like some type of hybrid wolf/bat thing). The shredded and bloodied Rhett comes to just in time to see his intended victim’s throat torn out by the creature. It plays well and sets a tone for the rest of the film that is never achieved again. There are some cool moments when we’re actually watching through the werewolf’s eyes, a kind of red ultraviolet lens thing. That’s particularly effective as the animal turns its attention to the girl (unfortunately, the effect isn’t used consistently in the rest of the flick). Speaking of the girl, she does have a name: Christina (played by Danielle Lozeau); we know this because at one point, she whimpers her name as though Rhett has asked her to tell him. Problem is, as convincing as her terrorized reply is, he didn’t ask. Considering some of the other problems that we’ll get into, that’s a small one, but one that bugs the crap outta me.

WEREWOLF RISING (Bill Oberst, Junior) (publicity still)
WEREWOLF RISING (Bill Oberst, Junior) (publicity still)

After that grand opening, a tool used, I assume, for the express purpose of introducing the two main villains of the piece, werewolf prime (more about that one later) and Rhett. The movie proper begins with the heroine of the story, Emma (the exceptionally not-too-awful Melissa Carnell), delivering a soliloquy in the form of a phone conversation (we only hear her end of what is obviously a double-ended communication) intended to act as exposition, as she explains where she is (the place she grew up) and why she’s there (to get away from the “city life” which, as it’s wont to do, has driven her to drink; she has driven to the place of her birth to… not drink) and who she plans to meet there (her father’s old drinking buddy, Wayne). Carnell fluctuates between a very believable delivery to one fraught with melodrama to a kinda somnambulist drone. Guess which one works best. As Emma wanted to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city (Boston, in this case), she has definitely come to the right place. Her little home in the hills is (in the vernacular) “a fer piece” from any type of civilization and, as a bonus, surrounded by hundreds of acres of woods. What could possibly go wrong, right? Weeeeelllll…

WEREWOLF RISING (Melissa Carnell) (publicity still)
WEREWOLF RISING (Melissa Carnell) (publicity still)

It seems that when Rhett escaped from prison he took his cellmate, Johnny Lee (Matt Copko), with him. Johnny Lee, apparently a two time loser (once for the ridiculous name and twice for a wooden – oh, heck, let’s be honest… a leaden personality), shows up at Emma’s back door and, inconceivably, wheedles his way into her heart even though she protests from her porch, from across a pond, from the back of a four-wheeler… you get the idea. It’s mere coincidence that he is related to Wayne (Brian Berry in a bone-chillingly awful performance). Once Wayne hears that his nephew is in the neighborhood, he arms Emma with a gun big enough to dislocate both of her shoulders with the kickback.

WEREWOLF RISING (Melissa Carnell and Matt Copko) (publicity still)
WEREWOLF RISING (Melissa Carnell and Matt Copko) (publicity still)

Johnny Lee has taken up residence in an abandoned church, where he takes Emma on his… her… someone’s… four-wheeler, and where plans are made to meet later, after Emma hosts Uncle Wayne for a late dinner. Two things happen in the interim: Wayne, who hasn’t given up the drink, attempts to stick his tongue down Emma’s throat (dessert?) and Johnny Lee is sliced and diced by the beast. After Emma tosses Wayne out, she heads for the rendezvous with Johnny Lee, only to find him tattered and moaning on the floor. He refuses to go to the hospital (escaped felon, remember?). So, what’s a girl to do? Why, take him home to nurse him back to health, of course. By the next night, Wayne is doing his drunken troll drive-by and Johnny Lee is craving raw meat and the great outdoors. Johnny Lee takes off for the woods out back just as Wayne and Rhett show up out front. Emma, now at the front door and armed, recognizes Rhett as the evil guy that’s been chasing her through her dreams of late. After disarming Emma, Wayne turns the weapon on Rhett. Shots are fired, blood splatters, Wayne gets his comeuppance and Emma crawls to the safety of… a bottle of vodka she finds in the closet she’s using as a hiding place.

WEREWOLF RISING (Melissa Carnell) (publicity still)
WEREWOLF RISING (Melissa Carnell) (publicity still)

If that doesn’t seem weird enough, things start getting truly bizarre. As Emma hightails it through the woods, she runs into a lone woman who likes wolves… a lot! Well, not really wolves… wolf, singular. And, she does not want to share. You’ve gotta pay close attention here, as everything starts to make sense (or, at least as much sense as this flick ever will). The woman, Beatrix (Irena Murphy, who eventually shows just how talented she is by going full-frontal), knows Rhett and Emma’s father. The campfire party is for one (or both) of them and, as usually happens in such cases, bad things are afoot. That’s all I’m sayin’; I ain’t sayin’ no more. Except this: If it’s true that the camera adds ten pounds, then I’m guessing that Carnell and Copko must go about fifteen pounds… between them. I’m sure that I’ve seen skeletal remains that weigh more than these two. So, anyway, aside from the convoluted backstories, grade D acting skills by at least three of the five principals and a cheesy looking monster, at the end of the day, WEREWOLF RISING is more watchable than a lot of like-minded horror fare. It’s kind of an okay way to kill an hour and twenty minutes.