HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE, ISSUE ONE

(Scott R Schmidt/Tyler Sowles/Sara Sowles; 32 pages; SOURCE POINT PRESS; 2014)

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Hard boiled film noir detective meets things that go bump in the night in the premiere issue of HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE; or, maybe a more apt description for the minions of the monster underworld would be “things that get bumped off in the night.”

HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE Page 5 (Written by SCOTT R SCHMIDT, art by TYLER SOWLES and SARA SOWLES)

HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE Page 5 (Written by SCOTT R SCHMIDT, art by TYLER SOWLES and SARA SOWLES)

Hank’s Tower City mirrors a world divided; there’s the Human Side and the Monster Side. Both communities would like nothing better than that the twain never should meet. This first issue begins with – as all great detective stories should – a body. The desecrated body of something… not human has been pulled out of the river that separates the two sides of the city. The police on the Human Side grouse and grumble about having to handle a suspicious death from the other side, especially during the playoffs; the detective in charge is not about to miss the playoffs, so he’s called in back-up from the Monster Side: “Stand down, fellas, that’s a pal of mine, Frank.” Well, close… “It’s Hank.” In true noir fashion, our hero delivers a running inner-monologue-as-therapy, beginning here: “I hate humans. Comedians, every one.” Detective Steiner quickly identifies the putrid remains: “Looks like you fellas got yourselves what used to be an imp.” Equally as quick, the human cops dump the case on Hank, telling him to “Take him with you when you’re done.”

HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE Page 9 (Written by SCOTT R SCHMIDT, art by TYLER SOWLES and SARA SOWLES)

HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE Page 9 (Written by SCOTT R SCHMIDT, art by TYLER SOWLES and SARA SOWLES)

Back across the bridge, we meet Hank’s operatives, including his secretary, Iris, and a human informant (and garbage man) named Gus. The garbage man’s trash talk (literally) leads the big guy to some underhanded dealings coming from the goblin underworld boss, a fat, cigar-chomping Mafioso called Madtooth. Action comes fast and furious, as Steiner confronts some of Madtooth’s underlings and a trio of vampiric babes in a pool room dive that serves as a front for the mob’s business activities. Of course, Madtooth’s intervention leaves more questions than answers, as he tells Hank that they’re merely the middle men for something far more nefarious than his boys’ illegal shenanigans. Like many of the finest films of the genre, things take a rather unexpected turn, leading to an apt justice being meted out to the criminal element; also mirroring those classic movies, that justice comes in the form of a too-quick resolution. This plot could very easily have been delivered as a multi-issue storyline, fleshing out the characters (recurring and otherwise), the historical background regarding the animosity of the two districts of Tower City and the origins of Hank Steiner’s world.

HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE Pages 14-15 (Written by SCOTT R SCHMIDT, art by TYLER SOWLES and SARA SOWLES)

HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE Pages 14-15 (Written by SCOTT R SCHMIDT, art by TYLER SOWLES and SARA SOWLES)

But… that’s a trifling complaint. Scott R Schmidt’s story and dialogue is fast-paced and quick-witted. One could almost envision Humphrey Bogart (well… maybe Raymond Massey) in the role of the Monster Detective. Tyler Sowles’ artwork is powerful and uncluttered, with his wife, Sara’s muted colors adding to the overall noir feel of the book (by the way, she is responsible for page layouts and lettering, as well). If Schmidt and the Sowles can deliver high quality stories like this in a consistent manner, the future certainly looks bright for the denizens of Tower City… or, at least as bright as things ever get in Hank Steiner’s world. I personally cannot wait for future installments, hopefully ones that will answer some of my questions about the whos, the hows and the whys of just what is happening in Tower City. HANK STEINER, MONSTER DETECTIVE is available at your favorite comics shop or, you can secure it digitally from DriveThruComics  or Comixology. Now… go ye forth and consume, comics lovers. The fun part of your brain will love you for it.


RAVENWOLF TOWERS, EPISODE ONE: BAD MARY

(FULL MOON FEATURES/FULL MOON ENTERTAINMENT (32 minutes; Unrated); 2016)

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Populated by the usual freaks, degenerates, mad scientists and monsters that have become staples in any of his devilishly off-kilter features, Charles Band’s new web series, RAVENWOLF TOWERS, will be an acquired taste for the uninitiated, but… for those familiar with such delightfully gory offerings as THE GINGERDEAD MAN, PUPPET MASTER or GHOULIES, this first episode is like manna from the dark gods. The premiere installment of the seven-part series debuted on December 13, to coincide with the full moon; future episodes will follow suit, bowing on the six subsequent full moons. RAVENWOLF TOWERS can be viewed at Full Moon Entertainment’s streaming platform and their Amazon channel; each episode will also be offered as a stand-alone DVD release (no word yet on a collected DVD release).

RAVENWOLF TOWERS (George Appleby) (publicity still)

RAVENWOLF TOWERS (George Appleby) (publicity still)

The half-hour opener is titled “Bad Mary” and begins with an obligatory sexual encounter which – in true Band fashion – ends with one of the participants dying on the floor, minus an arm after checking the couple’s wardrobe for a boogie man. The horribly deformed giant in the wardrobe (so hideous, in fact, that he has to be played by two actors – Robert Cooper and Nihilist Gelo) is a member of the freakish, incestuous family who inhabits the top floor of the formerly opulent Hollywood hotel. And, then, things start to get weird… GENERAL HOSPITAL, soap opera weird. The newly hired assistant manager of the Ravenwolf, Jake (Evan Henderson), is warned by his histrionic boss (Sonny King) to stay away from the eleventh floor unless specifically requested by the family living there. During this admonishment, a suspicious character calling himself Doctor Ivan Ivanoff (a dark, understated performance from George Appleby, who has a resume that includes GAME OF THRONES and SHERLOCK) appears, seeking to rent a room. When the manager asks him to fill out an application for the room, the good doctor produces a stack of hundred dollar bills and is immediately given a key, offering insight to the management’s priorities. Once in his room, it becomes apparent that Ivanoff is a very different kind of doctor.

RAVENWOLF TOWERS (Shiloh Creveling, Evan Henderson) (publicity still)

RAVENWOLF TOWERS (Shiloh Creveling, Evan Henderson) (publicity still)

As fate – or, someone’s insidious plan – would have it, Jake is called to a room on the tenth floor due a leak from the floor above. By the way, as part of what Charles Band calls a “love letter to Full Moon fans past and present,” the occupant on ten will look very familiar to Band and Full Moon devotees. Jake’s repairs on eleven are interrupted by a beautiful young woman (Shiloh Creveling), crawling down the hallway, asking for help. Thinking the girl is being held against her will, Jake does the only reasonable thing he can think of: He takes her to his room and beds her. In the meantime, two of the occupants on the eleventh floor, a bedridden and irascible old coot (played with venomous glee by Arthur Roberts) and his daughter (portrayed in true scenery-chewing fashion by Full Moon mainstay, Maria Olsen) are told by their creepier-than-thou offspring that her son and brother, the giant in the wardrobe has disappeared. After dealing with the mess left by the brute Samson (collecting and destroying the remains in the room, as well as dragging off his traumatized bed-mate for a little late night blood-draining ritual), the father/brother/uncle/son/what-have-you asks a very simple question: “Oh, by the way, where’s Mary?” At which point, things reach a crescendo of weird… we’re talking ANOTHER WORLD weird here, with twisting plot-lines that will leave even the most clear-headed among us feeling a bit dizzy and scratching their head in an “I did not see that coming” sort of way as the credits roll. And, I haven’t even mentioned the very familiar clown who inhabits room 1012!

RAVENWOLF TOWERS (publicity still)

RAVENWOLF TOWERS (publicity still)

With this first episode, it might seem that Band is attempting a bit too much – getting most of the exposition (or “origin,” if you rather) out of the way before charging full-tilt into the mayhem in the next six installments. Time – and episode two – will tell; so, strap in, kiddies… another full moon is nearly upon us!