Drake Bell – Zachary Mule

(ARC ENTERTAINMENT/KICKSTART PRODUCTIONS (47 minutes, Rated G); 2014)

A few weeks back, I railed against a kids’ movie that featured a little girl who cared for no-one and nothing except for herself and what she wanted to do. That movie was produced in China, so I eventually came to the conclusion that the girl’s attitude had to be some type of cultural thing. After watching two-thirds of FROZEN IN TIME, I was reconsidering that estimation and moved forward under the supposition that all children everywhere were actually evil, self-centered, smaller versions of politicians, lawyers and other such snake-oil salesmen.

Eric and Patty (voiced by Valin Shenyei and Alyssya Swales) are siblings who enjoy torturing each other (and their brother, Brody, played by Drake Bell) and getting each other into trouble. Eric’s motto is, “I’ve always found that whole being good thing to be overrated.” The family dog, Arnie, is equally annoying and hyperactive; he looks a whole lot like Ed Asner (a name that you’ll be seeing again!). The kids’ inability to follow simple commands (actually, their blatant disregard for their parents’ instructions) causes a near catastrophe as, on Christmas Eve, the family heads out for Grandpa’s house. Having been told that Arnie couldn’t come along for the trip, Eric hides the pooch in a box disguised as a present; when the rambunctious canine gets loose, he bounces all over the vehicle, causing Mom (Mira Sorvino) to almost wreck the car, barely missing an oncoming truck and losing all of the presents over a snow-covered embankment. Things get worse when the family finally arrives at Grandpa’s house. Grandpa (Ed Asner) is an inventor with a bunch of whacky ideas; Patty and Eric are very disrespectful to their Grandpa and manage to destroy an entire automated kitchen (and their dinner in the deal) after being told to stay out of the room. The two take it on the lam before their Dad (Colin Murdock) can think of a punishment more severe than sending them to their room and denying them dessert (which is what they were after when they demolished the kitchen), heading out back to Grandpa’s workshop. There, they discover a weird looking old clock and, as these two destructive forces are wont to do, they find a way to break it.

From there, the movie turns into GROUNDHOG DAY with kids, Christmas and, of course, Santa Claus. As they discover that they are repeating the same day over and over again, Eric and Patty decide they can do whatever they want because it won’t matter when punishments are meted out… they won’t have to serve them since they’re the only ones who realize what’s happening to them and the clock will reset as soon as they fall asleep. Here’s where things start to turn around. After four or five days, they are getting sick of the auto-repeat. Besides, if Christmas never comes, they never get their gifts! As they’re once again confined to their room, Grandpa comes in and tells them a story about an inventor who built a clock that stopped time; the clock worked so well that Santa asked if the inventor would build one for him (making millions of stops in approximately five hours was no easy task… this would help). The light bulb finally goes on for Patty when her Grandpa tells them that the inventor didn’t stay at the North Pole with Santa because he didn’t want to be away from his family. The solution, Patty tells Eric, is being nicer to their family. The kids, over the course of several more Christmas Eves, straighten up their acts, displaying kindness, helpfulness and cooperation, turning FROZEN IN TIME into a pretty nice family Christmas story. They actually help Santa and save Christmas (the commercial aspects of it, anyway). How? Well… that’s called a spoiler and I won’t be the one to spoil it for the kiddies. If you can get through the pint-sized thuggery, the pay-off is pretty sweet.

The movie is, obviously, geared for very young children… I think that kids older than say seven or so would lose interest in the repetitive aspects of the middle part of the thing. The animation and design is also something that will appeal more to the smaller kids; the animation is just okay and everything is presented in very bright primary colors. Having said that, if you have small children (and maybe a pair of sunglasses), FROZEN IN TIME is a good way to kill the better part of an hour.

(DVD and Digital; ARC ENTERTAINMENT/KICKSTART PRODUCTIONS (47 minutes, Rated PG); 2014)

I recently reviewed a “kiddie” movie called AVA AND LALA, a really bad example of what passes for “family-friendly” viewing these days (it actually received positive reviews from several Christian sites, even though the Ava character has virtually no redeeming values and exemplifies many non-Christian traits, such as disrespect to others, covetousness and hubris). Still cringing from that experience, I approached UNDER WRAPS with a sense of trepidation. Just a few minutes into the flick, I found myself mumbling, “Now, this is more like it!” UNDER WRAPS is, thankfully, standard-issue American style animation and storytelling (though most of the production team and animators are British or Indian), with plenty of adventure, action, comedy, thrills, chills and a message that everyone can relate to.

The story centers around twelve-year-old Danny (voiced by Nick Wolfhard) and his wi-fi starved older sister, Eleanor (Kazumi Evans), whose archeologist parents (Brian Drummond and Brooke Shields) have dragged them halfway around the world on an Egyptian expedition. Danny is excited to help his parents; they, unfortunately for him, think he’s too young and… uh… too “hands on” to take into the tomb. In his quest for adventure, he tends to act before he thinks things all the way through, leading to plenty of broken relics, groundings and, of course, releasing a curse that turns his parents into mummies. Unlike Ava from the previously reviewed AVA AND LALA, the kids learn their lessons early on as, through the course of the flick, they learn the importance of family, working together to reverse the curse before the sun sets and their parents become permanently mummified.

The curse is accidentally activated when Danny drops and breaks a relic he took from the tomb, setting into motion a fun, fast-paced adventure through the Howard’s hometown. As he and Eleanor take charge (and try to hide their rapidly deteriorating parents), they are stopped by a pair of marginally inept police officers (Brenda Crichlow, Colin Murdock). The officers continue to show up at the worst times possible, leading to some of the funniest moments of the movie. One of the funniest moments occurs when the kids go shopping for the ingredients needed to stop the curse. The cops, of course, take their coffee break in the same grocery. By this point, the parents have become the children, not listening to instructions to remain in the vehicle and out of site. They do neither and are soon wreaking havoc in the store. Drake Bell voices an excitable kid in a squid costume who, after being set upon by Mister Howard, gets no sympathy from anyone because, “That’s a mummy… mummies don’t eat brains. Zombies eat brains.” The mummified Howards, naturally, win the award for best costume.

Along the way, the siblings are set upon by a monstrous mummy (who looks a lot like Iron Maiden’s mascot and cover boy, Eddie), who is looking to retrieve the broken artifact. Eleanor and Danny finally decide that they may be in over their heads as sundown approaches and take their parents’ assistant, Peter (Matthew Lillard), into their confidence. This leads to a final confrontation as the four Howards, Peter, the two cops and the Pharaoh mummy converge for a final showdown. It should be fun for the younger kids to follow the clues throughout to figure out how the story ends.

The movie is rated PG. It does feature some rude humor and the Pharaoh mummy can be a pretty scary thing for really young kids; the action sequences are fairly mild and funny enough to be enjoyed by everybody in the family. UNDER WRAPS would be a good Halloween “scare” for kids above, say, the age of eight, particularly tweeners. The messages of responsibility and working together as a family will not be lost on that age group.

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