CHRONICLES OF TERROR: THE MONTHLY HORROR ANTHOLOGY, ISSUE FOUR

(Kim Roberts/Various Writers and Artists; 80 pages; WP COMICS; 2016)

cot-xmas-1

The English people are a weird lot. They have a very dry, wicked sense of humor. They have also given us some of THE most frightening tales of horror… ever! Their views on Christmas are… let’s go with “skewed,” shall we? It goes well beyond the fact that they maintain a stubborn habit of saying “Happy” rather than “Merry” when wishing one well during the season of goodwill. Many of those views have been engrained for centuries; well before, I’m sure, the Church usurped the holy days, celebrations and traditions surrounding the winter solstice. All of this is my wholly American way of introducing you to a relatively new comic from the UK called CHRONICLES OF TERROR and, in particular, the fourth issue, a collection of Christmas themed stories sub-titled “Santa’s Twisted Tales.” Now, to be certain, all of the pieces here do not come from the minds and hands of our stalwart British friends; in point of fact, a “Creator of the Month” feature highlights Ohio comics writer and publisher of Disposable Fiction Comics, Jack Wallace.

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: "Snowvenge" (written by KIM ROBERTS, art by HARALDO)

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: “Snowvenge” (written by KIM ROBERTS, art by HARALDO)

Starting with the magnificent, delightfully gruesome cover image by Haraldo (like Cher, I suppose, this artistic genius only needs the one name), this book takes on every traditional concept – both religious and secular – regarding Christmas, as well as the so-called “pagan” rites and rituals of more ancient (some would say “arcane”) holy days. Haraldo’s stunning artwork is back in an imaginative take on the old “revenge is a dish best served cold” proverb; with a brilliant story and script by anthology editor, Kim Roberts, “Snowvenge” is certainly setting the bar high as an opening salvo, as it hits on all cylinders, from concept to finished art. “The Never” is a cautionary tale from the twisted brain of writer Eric Gahagan… a warning from the Anti-Santa for children everywhere about peeking at their presents. Pietro Vaughan’s hard angular lines and thick black shadows are akin to the fever-dream sets used in the brilliant, century old German expressionist horror film, THE CABINET OF DOCTOR CALIGARI. Ever wonder what the Jolly Elf’s reindeer eat to keep their energy up on those long Christmas Eve journey? Paul Bradford and artist Allen Byrns paint a very vivid picture in “Reindeer: Oh, Deer – Oh, Dear.”

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: "Charles 'Chucky' Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol'" (written by GABE OSTLEY, art by GABE OSTLEY and CHRIS ALLEN)

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: “Charles ‘Chucky’ Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol'” (written by GABE OSTLEY, art by GABE OSTLEY and CHRIS ALLEN)

Gabe Ostley’s obscenely off-kilter “Charles ‘Chucky’ Dickens’ A Christmas Carol” is eight pages of wildly gratuitous violence featuring the obligatory firefight between Death and Satan and his goat-minions, as well as Cthulhu, the festering corpse of the famed author of THE STORY OF THE GOBLINS WHO STOLE A SEXTON (if I’m not mistaken, he may have written some other fairly famous pieces, as well) and, of course, the totally unlikeable (anti-)hero of the story, a rooster named Cluck, appearing here as Scrooge McCluck; as Cluck is so repellant, I cannot wait for another installment of his adventures. Chris Allen’s vivid palette adds to the already surreal Hellscape. “The Ancestors” delves into some of the “pagan” beliefs and rituals that have become a part of traditional Christmas celebrations. MC Carper’s art has an old-world quality that fits Hunter Eden’s story perfectly, just as Chris Allen’s colors suit Carper’s line-work. As people of varying cultures and religions have migrated farther and farther from the homes of their fathers, the desire to break away from those familial and cultural bonds has grown, even as the need to remain grounded in those cultures and religions is instilled by the ancestral ways invariably follow (and, sometimes, haunt) the immigrant; this story follows one such tortured soul to his own inevitable conclusion. Though only three pages in length, “The Book of Eden Z: Come Gentle Christmas Angels” is… beautiful. The story is simple, elegant and sentimental; I’m not ashamed to say that it brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye. What do the spirits of children who are the victims of some unexpected violence wish for on Christmas? J Christopher Greulich’s story is both heart-warming and heartbreaking and his magnificent black and white art is among the best in this volume.

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: "Bad Santa" (written by KIM ROBERTS and CHRIS ALLEN, art by BRADEN HALLETT); "Unwanted Gifts" (written by JAMES JOHNSON, art by JAMES JOHNSON)

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: “Bad Santa” (written by KIM ROBERTS and CHRIS ALLEN, art by BRADEN HALLETT); “Unwanted Gifts” (written by JAMES JOHNSON, art by JAMES JOHNSON)

Bad Santa,” from writers Kim Roberts and Chris Allen and artist Braden Hallett is a cautionary tale of greed and the importance of inspecting each and every package, making sure to read any and all warning notices… even hand-written ones from in-house quality-control engineers. James Johnson’s “Unwanted Gifts” holds the least appeal, story-wise, for me. I don’t know why… it has so many horror linchpins: Loving family set upon by demon spores/spirits/whatevers living in the limbs of the family’s chosen fir tree, each possession driving the inhabited family member over the edge and, as they succumb to their inhabitants, further into the world of ancient Solstice religious beliefs and secular Christmas traditions. Maybe that’s the problem: Johnson’s plot is just too chock full of thoughts and ideas and visions to be coherent enough for a numbskull like me. The blood and the guts (yards and yards of guts!) and the extreme mayhem are cool, though. A drunken stepfather, an uncaring mother and an alien monster all impact poor little Sidney as she awaits a visit from Santa Claus on “Christmas Eve,” though, maybe not in the way that you would imagine. Jojo King’s story does a fine job of exploring the young girl’s hopes and wishes, while the artwork of Alister Lee aptly relates the horror of the season. The ending is much more graphic but is still very reminiscent of this issue’s earlier “Reindeer: Oh, Deer – Oh, Dear.”

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: "The 512th Day of Christmas" (written by JACK WALLACE, art by REINALDO LAY CONTRERAS and CHRIS ALLEN

CHRONICLES OF TERROR, Issue 4: “The 512th Day of Christmas” (written by JACK WALLACE, art by REINALDO LAY CONTRERAS and CHRIS ALLEN

The remainder of this fourth issue of CHRONICLES OF TERROR is comprised of special features and pin-ups, including a killer pin-up by Gabe Ostley (with suitably bright colors from Chris Allen) called “Christmas Turkey.” As mentioned earlier, a “Creator of the Month” feature focuses on Jack Wallace, writer and co-publisher (with the by-now ubiquitous Chris Allen) at Disposable Fiction Comics, who discusses his entrance into the comics industry, working with a wide variety of artistic talents and the pitfalls of self-publishing. Following this in-depth profile is a five page preview of Wallace’s latest graphic novel, THE 512TH DAY OF CHRISTMAS, with magnificent art from Reinaldo Lay Contreras (better known as Rei Lay) and colors from… you guessed it: Chris Allen. More info about and ordering info for the book is available at Disposable Fiction Comics; plus, you can order your own copy (physical or digital) of this Yule-themed CHRONICLES OF TERROR (as well as the first three issues of the incredible anthology) here. Enjoy! And… Merry Christmas, one and all.


BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL

(Various Writers and Artists; 41 pages, digital; MONKEYBRAIN COMICS, 2014)

BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL

The goofy anthology BOO! premiered in October 2013 as a four issue limited series, featuring stories populated by the usual monsters, zombies, vampires, ghosts and ghouls in classic EC Comics horror twist ending fashion… well, more like a MAD! magazine version of its bigger, scarier EC brothers. The title returned this past Halloween, as a one-shot and, now, because that Claus dude is so scary, BOO! is back with seven new Christmas-themed tales of the ookey, hidden behind a R Crumb worthy cover by Jon Morris.

BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL: "Humbug" (by KELLY TINDALL); "The Case of the Curious Claus" (written by DYLAN TODD, art by MATT DIGGES and PETE TOMS)

BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL: “Humbug” (by KELLY TINDALL); “The Case of the Curious Claus” (written by DYLAN TODD, art by MATT DIGGES and PETE TOMS)

Kelly Tindall’s “Humbug,” as the name implies, is a modern day version, a cynical update of “A Christmas Carol,” one of the most loved Christmas redemption stories of all time. The artwork’s a bit rough around the edges, but the story and the “shock” ending more than make up for any shortcomings in the art department. “The Case of the Curious Claus” is a take-off on SCOOBY DOO, WHERE ARE YOU? featuring a group of youngsters called the Creep Crew. The lighthearted script (by Dylan Todd) has an underlying message about the loneliness that many people (in this case, a young girl at a childrens home) experience during the holiday season and the predators who prey on the lonely. As one would expect, the jolly elf ain’t so jolly and… well… he ain’t so elfy either. Matthew Digges and Pete Toms team up for a passable job on the art.

BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL: "Up On the Housetop" (by JORDAN WITT); "Claus" (by MATT SMIGEL); "Secret Santa" (written by RJ WHITE, art by MANNING KRULL)

BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL: “Up On the Housetop” (by JORDAN WITT); “Claus” (by MATT SMIGEL); “Secret Santa” (written by RJ WHITE, art by MANNING KRULL)

Jordan Witt’s story and art blend nicely to deliver a tale about a Bear in the woods and a young woman alone on Christmas Eve when, “Up On the Housetop,” click, click, click! Which, of course, could mean only one thing: There’s something evil up on the roof! This story is probably my favorite of the seven on display here. “Claus,” by Matt Smigel, is a weird, wonderful ode to a dark lord and a woman scorned. Smigel’s art has a tripped out, REN AND STIMPY quality that is not unappealing in its own way; the story mixes the same whacked-out kinda cartoon vibe with just the right touch of Lovecraftian lore. After reading this one, you can’t help but feel the holiday love and cheer. “Secret Santa” (story and art by RJ White and Manning Krull, respectively) takes the classic Universal Monsters and turns them on their heads. The ultimately heartwarming tale also features cameos by Jack Skellington from THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS and ol’ Kris Kringle himself.

BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL: "The Yule Log" (written by KARLA PACHECO, art by SEAN POPPE); "Forget Me Not" (by SCOTT FAULKNER)

BOO! 2014 HOLIDAY SPECIAL: “The Yule Log” (written by KARLA PACHECO, art by SEAN POPPE); “Forget Me Not” (by SCOTT FAULKNER)

Karla Pacheco’s “The Yule Log” explores the pagan celebration of the winter solstice and how we good Christians commandeered the festival to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior. The manic artwork of Sean Poppe definitely conveys the brutality and the excesses of the early church. The story is absolutely the most horrifying of the lot because… it’s history; it forces each of us to look within ourselves and not allow our zealousness (for whatever) to override the real message: “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” “Forget Me Not” is a disturbing science fiction story of an all-consuming space virus. Scott Faulkner’s story is well-paced, his simple pen and ink art (embellished with cool green washes) moves the narrative along nicely. Even though the ending isn’t necessarily unexpected, it is disturbing nonetheless. Okay, after Halloween and Christmas editions of this thoroughly enjoyable anthology book, what’s next? I mean, I wouldn’t mind a Groundhog Day special… April Fool’s Day… Arbor Day… hey, who says you gotta wait for a special holiday at all? I would seriously love to see what sort of non-holiday stories these people can come up with.


FROZEN IN TIME

(ARC ENTERTAINMENT/KICKSTART PRODUCTIONS (47 minutes, Rated G); 2014)

Frozen In Time 2D

A few weeks back, I railed against a kids’ movie that featured a little girl who cared for no-one and nothing except for herself and what she wanted to do. That movie was produced in China, so I eventually came to the conclusion that the girl’s attitude had to be some type of cultural thing. After watching two-thirds of FROZEN IN TIME, I was reconsidering that estimation and moved forward under the supposition that all children everywhere were actually evil, self-centered, smaller versions of politicians, lawyers and other such snake-oil salesmen.

FROZEN IN TIME (publicity still)

FROZEN IN TIME (publicity still)

Eric and Patty (voiced by Valin Shenyei and Alyssya Swales) are siblings who enjoy torturing each other (and their brother, Brody, played by Drake Bell) and getting each other into trouble. Eric’s motto is, “I’ve always found that whole being good thing to be overrated.” The family dog, Arnie, is equally annoying and hyperactive; he looks a whole lot like Ed Asner (a name that you’ll be seeing again!). The kids’ inability to follow simple commands (actually, their blatant disregard for their parents’ instructions) causes a near catastrophe as, on Christmas Eve, the family heads out for Grandpa’s house. Having been told that Arnie couldn’t come along for the trip, Eric hides the pooch in a box disguised as a present; when the rambunctious canine gets loose, he bounces all over the vehicle, causing Mom (Mira Sorvino) to almost wreck the car, barely missing an oncoming truck and losing all of the presents over a snow-covered embankment. Things get worse when the family finally arrives at Grandpa’s house. Grandpa (Ed Asner) is an inventor with a bunch of whacky ideas; Patty and Eric are very disrespectful to their Grandpa and manage to destroy an entire automated kitchen (and their dinner in the deal) after being told to stay out of the room. The two take it on the lam before their Dad (Colin Murdock) can think of a punishment more severe than sending them to their room and denying them dessert (which is what they were after when they demolished the kitchen), heading out back to Grandpa’s workshop. There, they discover a weird looking old clock and, as these two destructive forces are wont to do, they find a way to break it.

FROZEN IN TIME (publicity still)

FROZEN IN TIME (publicity still)

From there, the movie turns into GROUNDHOG DAY with kids, Christmas and, of course, Santa Claus. As they discover that they are repeating the same day over and over again, Eric and Patty decide they can do whatever they want because it won’t matter when punishments are meted out… they won’t have to serve them since they’re the only ones who realize what’s happening to them and the clock will reset as soon as they fall asleep. Here’s where things start to turn around. After four or five days, they are getting sick of the auto-repeat. Besides, if Christmas never comes, they never get their gifts! As they’re once again confined to their room, Grandpa comes in and tells them a story about an inventor who built a clock that stopped time; the clock worked so well that Santa asked if the inventor would build one for him (making millions of stops in approximately five hours was no easy task… this would help). The light bulb finally goes on for Patty when her Grandpa tells them that the inventor didn’t stay at the North Pole with Santa because he didn’t want to be away from his family. The solution, Patty tells Eric, is being nicer to their family. The kids, over the course of several more Christmas Eves, straighten up their acts, displaying kindness, helpfulness and cooperation, turning FROZEN IN TIME into a pretty nice family Christmas story. They actually help Santa and save Christmas (the commercial aspects of it, anyway). How? Well… that’s called a spoiler and I won’t be the one to spoil it for the kiddies. If you can get through the pint-sized thuggery, the pay-off is pretty sweet.

FROZEN IN TIME (publicity still)

FROZEN IN TIME (publicity still)

The movie is, obviously, geared for very young children… I think that kids older than say seven or so would lose interest in the repetitive aspects of the middle part of the thing. The animation and design is also something that will appeal more to the smaller kids; the animation is just okay and everything is presented in very bright primary colors. Having said that, if you have small children (and maybe a pair of sunglasses), FROZEN IN TIME is a good way to kill the better part of an hour.