HEY, MA! WATCH THIS – Page 7

AUTUMN BLOOD

(DVD and Digital; ARC ENTERTAINMENT/DREAMRUNNER PICTURES/MOUNTAIN FILMS (99 minutes/Rated R); 2014)

AUTUMN BLOOD is a very quiet, almost pastoral movie, filled with moments of unbelievable brutality, violence and pain. Beautifully filmed in the mountains around Tirol, Austria, the scenery is breathtaking and there is a sense that we may be watching a story set in the untamed wild west of the United States; the only things visible to place the movie in modern times are the vehicles, farm machinery and weaponry. The opening sequence of the film sets the stage as, six years earlier, a farming family’s lives are shattered when the father is killed by the mayor of the nearby village. The inference from what happens prior is that the mayor either raped the mother or they were having an affair. At any rate, the father is dead, leaving the mother to care for her two young children.

AUTUMN BLOOD (Sophie Lowe, Maximilian Harnisch) (publicity still)

The movie shifts to the mother and her now sixteen year old daughter (played with an innocence that seems almost too real to be acting, by Sophie Lowe, an ethereal, waifish beauty who may be best known for her role as Alice in the television series, ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND) and ten year old son (Maximilian Harnisch), who hasn’t spoken a word since witnessing his father’s death. There’s a gentleness and a sense of idyllic contentment, or maybe it’s resignation to their lots in life… whatever it is, the mother does her best to give the children a good life.

AUTUMN BLOOD (Gustaf Skarsgard, Sophie Lowe) (publicity still)

The girl’s innocence is probably best displayed as she swims/bathes in a secluded pond; she lays, drying on the rocks, completely at one with her surroundings. As she lay there one morning, dreaming, a hunter (the mayor’s son, played by Samuel Vauramo) breaks her reverie. Totally unaffected and unashamed, she doesn’t try to cover herself. It isn’t until the man grabs her and bends in to kiss her that she begins to understand his intentions and tries to fight him off. Beaten and bloody, the girl eventually makes her way home. She is met by her brother who helps her into their house, where more heartache awaits. As the boy was doing chores around the farm and while the girl was being brutalized, their mother had finally succumbed to the loneliness (or guilt, as there are several clues that she was, in fact, somehow involved with the mayor), ending her own life (at least, that’s how I read the scene). As the girl cleanses her wounds and tries to wash away the rape, she makes the decision to quietly bury their mother and keep her death a secret so that she and her brother wouldn’t be taken from their home and, possibly, separated.

AUTUMN BLOOD (Peter Stormare, Sophie Lowe) (publicity still)

On a trip into town, the girl, still showing signs of the beating she took, is waited on by a caring banker who grows suspicious and calls a social worker to check on the family situation. The girl also encounters the mayor (a steely-eyed Peter Stormare) in the local church, as well as being intimidated by the town butcher (played with a sense of monstrous depravity by Gustaf Skarsgard), the hunter and another friend. Later that night, the three men pay the children a visit, threatening to kill the boy and, once again, forcing themselves upon the girl. The mayor suspects his son and the others are, at the very least, up to no good and, possibly, in far more trouble than he has the power to get them out of.

AUTUMN BLOOD (Samuel Vauramo, Peter Stormare) (publicity still)

Now knowing of the mayor’s suspicions, the three decide to kill the only witnesses to their crimes. As the girl and her brother try to allude their would-be executioners, the film takes on a disturbing DELIVERENCE quality. Amidst the scenic backdrop of the Austrian countryside, the three stalk the siblings for the final third of the movie. As is always the case in such chase scenes, the villains are dispatched, one in a fairly standard fashion, the other two in less obvious ways. The chase sequence, which encompasses two days, is chilling, thrilling and nicely staged. I do, however, question the need for the girl to doff her clothing once she finds a suitable hiding place for the night; it just seems incongruous and more than a bit exploitive. If you’re paying close attention all the way through AUTUMN BLOOD, the final scene offers a little hint as to the relationship between the mother and the mayor and… I ain’t sayin’ no more. You’re going to have to connect the dots yourself.

AUTUMN BLOOD (Tim Morten Uhlenbrock, Gustaf Skarsgard, Samuel Vauramo) (publicity still)

As mentioned, the movie has some nudity, violence and two brutal rape scenes, so it has an R rating, though it seems that most teens (say, 12 and over) wouldn’t be too shocked or permanently damaged if they watched it, depending on their sensitivity to such things. I originally felt that the rapes would be dealbreakers for a majority of viewers but, the overall quality of the story eventually won me over. By the way, about those rape and nude scenes… Sophie Lowe was 21 years old when the film began shooting so, everything was above board and legal.

UNDER WRAPS

(DVD and Digital; ARC ENTERTAINMENT/KICKSTART PRODUCTIONS (47 minutes, Rated PG); 2014)

I recently reviewed a “kiddie” movie called AVA AND LALA, a really bad example of what passes for “family-friendly” viewing these days (it actually received positive reviews from several Christian sites, even though the Ava character has virtually no redeeming values and exemplifies many non-Christian traits, such as disrespect to others, covetousness and hubris). Still cringing from that experience, I approached UNDER WRAPS with a sense of trepidation. Just a few minutes into the flick, I found myself mumbling, “Now, this is more like it!” UNDER WRAPS is, thankfully, standard-issue American style animation and storytelling (though most of the production team and animators are British or Indian), with plenty of adventure, action, comedy, thrills, chills and a message that everyone can relate to.

The story centers around twelve-year-old Danny (voiced by Nick Wolfhard) and his wi-fi starved older sister, Eleanor (Kazumi Evans), whose archeologist parents (Brian Drummond and Brooke Shields) have dragged them halfway around the world on an Egyptian expedition. Danny is excited to help his parents; they, unfortunately for him, think he’s too young and… uh… too “hands on” to take into the tomb. In his quest for adventure, he tends to act before he thinks things all the way through, leading to plenty of broken relics, groundings and, of course, releasing a curse that turns his parents into mummies. Unlike Ava from the previously reviewed AVA AND LALA, the kids learn their lessons early on as, through the course of the flick, they learn the importance of family, working together to reverse the curse before the sun sets and their parents become permanently mummified.

The curse is accidentally activated when Danny drops and breaks a relic he took from the tomb, setting into motion a fun, fast-paced adventure through the Howard’s hometown. As he and Eleanor take charge (and try to hide their rapidly deteriorating parents), they are stopped by a pair of marginally inept police officers (Brenda Crichlow, Colin Murdock). The officers continue to show up at the worst times possible, leading to some of the funniest moments of the movie. One of the funniest moments occurs when the kids go shopping for the ingredients needed to stop the curse. The cops, of course, take their coffee break in the same grocery. By this point, the parents have become the children, not listening to instructions to remain in the vehicle and out of site. They do neither and are soon wreaking havoc in the store. Drake Bell voices an excitable kid in a squid costume who, after being set upon by Mister Howard, gets no sympathy from anyone because, “That’s a mummy… mummies don’t eat brains. Zombies eat brains.” The mummified Howards, naturally, win the award for best costume.

Along the way, the siblings are set upon by a monstrous mummy (who looks a lot like Iron Maiden’s mascot and cover boy, Eddie), who is looking to retrieve the broken artifact. Eleanor and Danny finally decide that they may be in over their heads as sundown approaches and take their parents’ assistant, Peter (Matthew Lillard), into their confidence. This leads to a final confrontation as the four Howards, Peter, the two cops and the Pharaoh mummy converge for a final showdown. It should be fun for the younger kids to follow the clues throughout to figure out how the story ends.

The movie is rated PG. It does feature some rude humor and the Pharaoh mummy can be a pretty scary thing for really young kids; the action sequences are fairly mild and funny enough to be enjoyed by everybody in the family. UNDER WRAPS would be a good Halloween “scare” for kids above, say, the age of eight, particularly tweeners. The messages of responsibility and working together as a family will not be lost on that age group.

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS | Darren Tracy | October 19, 2014 | Adventure Movie Ancient Egypt Brenda Crichlow Brian Drummond Brooke Shields Children's Movie Colin Murdock Comedy Computer Animation Digital Drake Bell DVD/Blu-Ray Family Movie Kazumi Evans Matthew Lillard Movies Mummies Nick Wolfhard

AVA AND LALA

(DVD and Digital; ARC ENTERTAINMENT (80 minutes, Rated PG); produced 2012, released 2014)

So… this is what I get out of this movie: A bunch of Asian dudes are sitting around in – uh… are opium dens still a thing? – and one of ’em says, “Hey, let’s make, like, an anime version of that Disney thing with the monsters… ‘cept let’s make ’em animals.” “Dude, that would be, like, so wicked! What if they kicked each others’ butts up and down, like POKEMON… but with more drugs. We can put it up in the sky and call it, like, Cloud World or something,” exclaims another. A third coughs and giggles, “Huh… yeah, but with more drugs! And George Takei.” “Oh, absolutely,” concurs the first, “You gosta have some George Takei, dude! Oh! Oh! Let’s make everybody, like, martial arts masters like in that KUNG FU PANDA movie. Also… I think there should be more drugs.” (For some inexplicable reason, that’s the way Asian dudes talk in my head; that’s probably how I sound in their heads, too). And, thus was born AVA AND LALA. By the way, George Takei is totally unrecognizable in all that – what is that thing supposed to be… a muskrat? An anorexic hamster? – makeup. I mean, if it weren’t for his voice… uh… what? Ooh! It’s a cartoon! Never mind about the George Takei thing, then.

Ava is an obnoxious, rude little girl who cares about nothing except herself; Lala is a liger (part of the way a lion and not all together a tiger) that looks like one of the bit players from WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. Ava sneaks out of her house, sees Lala trying to hide, chases him (presumably because he didn’t want to be seen or bothered in any way), falls over a cliff, is saved by Lala, wanders into the mouth of a “cloud whale” and is, thus, delivered to a world in the clouds, inhabited totally by animals. One of the first animals they meet there is a grumpy old bear with a heart of gold who looks a lot like someone in a Tom Arnold costume; Mister Bear (or Uncle Bear… he’s called “Mister” in the movie, “Uncle” in the synopsis), freaked by the appearance of a human (and monumentally annoyed by this particular human), tells the pair that Ava must leave the world within three days or become an animal herself. There’s also a wicked tiger with massive supernatural powers who is seeking the death of all humans (like Ava… a sentiment that I wholly encouraged until the very end of the movie) and the supremacy of the entire universe. Along the way, Ava, Lala and the totally not-down-with-this Mister Bear meet up with a variety of animals: A tough bulldog enforcer, his minions (including a boar, a wolf and other such mean and nasties), and – my favorite – a herd of kung pao chicken… wait… that ain’t right. A flock of kung fu chickens… yeah… that’s it.

Okay… look, here’s the deal: AVA AND LALA has some fun, even scary and exciting, moments; the problem is, as much as I love animation, I’m not a big fan of anime (the post-apocalyptic brutality of NEON GENESIS EVANGELION being one of a few exceptions), especially computer animated anime and the story and plot are way below my age level. So, what’s a reviewer to do? Why, call upon his six year old niece and a couple of her friends to give him the skinny on what’s really up with this kinda-sorta family-friendly kid’s flick.

Unfortunately, they pretty much share my opinions (though they won’t openly admit to the same weird dream sequence that I had with the Asian guys) about most of the movie. First, they couldn’t believe that someone as jaded as Ava could actually exist; how could a person, especially a little girl who is so loved by her father, be so consumed with self-importance that she would laugh at her father’s doting and defy him at every turn and, even when her only friend is facing certain death, she is so easily diverted by something shiny, something that she didn’t have, but wanted. All of this, by the way, knowing that she was losing her humanness (I can’t call it humanity because she doesn’t appear to possess any attributes that would apply) and Lala and Bear were her best chance of returning to Earth. Throughout the movie, the girls were wondering if Ava would ever learn her lesson. It isn’t until the very end of the movie, when her life is inextricably linked to Lala’s survival that she finally does the “heroic” thing and saves him from certain doom. Oops! I just spoiled the ending, didn’t I?

AVA AND LALA is rated PG for, according to the people who decide such things, rude humor and some action. However, other concerns involve the over-the-top violence in the final third of the movie: While it is fairly mild by adult standards, the kids were really frightened, especially by the murderous General Tiger. Apparently, this is a pretty popular franchise in its country of origin, China (which explains all of the gasping and grunting noises… remember the original US airings of SPEED RACER?), under the title YUGO AND LALA, where it saw theatrical release in 2012. I just don’t see the appeal; neither do the kids I used as “more age appropriate eyes.”

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies | Darren Tracy | October 14, 2014 | Adventure Movie AVA AND LALA Children's Movie Chinese Anime Computer Animation DVD/Blu-Ray Fantasy Movie George Takei Tom Arnold

FOUND.

(XLRATOR MEDIA/FORBIDDEN FILMS (103 minutes/Unrated); produced 2012, released 2014)

“My brother keeps a human head in his closet.” When a movie begins with a line like that, you just know that you’re in for a laugh riot… or, one of the most deeply disturbing stories you’re ever likely to see. FOUND. is based on a novella by Todd Rigney, the coming of age, innocence lost story of seventh grader Marty, who discovers that his older brother is a serial killer. As Marty narrates, we learn that, maybe, the creepiest aspect of the whole thing is that brother Steve is the only person in Marty’s life who really cares about him and looks out for him. Well… there is one other thing that kinda came out of the blue and hit me like a hammer, not “creepy” in the strictest sense of the word, but unsettling, nonetheless. More about that later, though.

FOUND. (photo courtesy of: XLRATOR MEDIA)

Marty (portrayed by Gavin Brown) is pretty much your standard issue twelve year old, into comic books and horror movies. He’s quiet and unassertive, not yet into girls. All of these things are like beacons to the school bully, a bigger kid who has problems with authority (and pretty much everybody that doesn’t bow down or cower in fear when he confronts them) and may have been held back a year or two due to his disciplinary problems. The first time we get a look at Marcus (belligerently played by Eddie Jackson), he flips off the teacher and is shocked – shocked, I tell you! – that she has the audacity to punish him. The scenario sets up a confrontation between Marty and Marcus and, later, Marty and his best friend, David (Alex Kogin). Both scenes add to Marty’s misery, alienating him even more. The episode with David quickly devolves as he aggressively starts to verbally abuse Marty during a sleepover. Marty finds himself questioning his life and wondering if he could do what Steve does, wondering if all of the abuse will make him a killer, too. Once Steve (Ethan Philbeck) discovers that his brother knows what he does late at night, even that relationship begins to fray.

FOUND. (Gavin Brown) (photo courtesy of: XLRATOR MEDIA)

There is a scene between the brothers that is emotional and heart-warming and, oddly enough, the scene that introduces a reason for Steve’s actions. Marty asks him, “Why?” and it’s then that we learn the murders are racially motivated. It’s not exactly out of the blue, because the kids’ father uses a racial epithet early on in the story but, still, it just seems a little… gratuitous. After that bombshell, Steve makes it known that if Marty tells their father or anyone else, he would take care of them. “What about me?” asks Marty. “I would never hurt you, Marty.” As the story progresses, we are also privy to the brothers’ home life, why Steve does what he does and why Marty is the sensitive, quiet one. From that point forward, FOUND. spirals toward one of the most brutally disturbing endings ever put on film.

Marty’s love of horror movies is exploited in the sleepover scene with David, as the two borrow a couple of… shall we call them “art house” movies? One is called HEADLESS, apparently the impetus – surprise, surprise – for Steve’s murderous proclivities; the other, DEEP DWELLERS, comes off as a schlocky monster movie with (intentionally) bad acting. Neither is particularly well-done, but then that’s the whole point; these “movies-within-the-movie” are there, more than anything, to move the plot along. As unbelievably gory (and borderline unwatchable) as HEADLESS is, it’s almost like a bad car wreck: You just can’t look away. There are full versions of both of these “movies” as part of the special features.

FOUND. (Ethan Philbeck) (photo courtesy of: XLRATOR MEDIA)

This movie (and the HEADLESS short, in particular) is not for the weak-at-heart or the easily offended and, it definitely isn’t intended for anyone under the age of, say, seventeen (yeah, kids, it really is that graphic!). However, anyone older than that who enjoy their horror flicks more on the psychological tip (and you aren’t one of those delicate types that are easily upset with sexually graphic gore), FOUND. is, ultimately, one of the best genre entries you’re likely to see this year. But… be warned: “Stuff like this can really warp a person.”

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies | Darren Tracy | October 2, 2014 | Alex Kogin Book Adaptation DVD/Blu-Ray Eddie Jackson Ethan Philbeck FOUND. Gavin Brown HEADLESS Horror Movies Psychological Thriller Slasher Movie Todd Rigney Unrated

LOUDER THAN WORDS

(ARC ENTERTAINMENT/IDENTITY FILMS (93 minutes, Rated PG-13); 2014)

For me, ambivalence is not an option for a film like LOUDER THAN WORDS; either I like such fare very much or hate it vehemently. I knew that the script was based on a true story which, depending on the screenwriter, the director, the principal stars and – yes – the subject matter, could signal disaster or thought-provoking, uplifting confirmations about life, family and the inherent good within each of us. The first few minutes of LOUDER THAN WORDS had me leaning toward disaster… to the point that I nearly hit the “stop” button on the remote. But, I hung in and, thankfully, was rewarded with story about life and death and family dynamics that seem, in some part, to reflect each of us.

LOUDER THAN WORDS (David Duchovny and Hope Davis) (publicity still)

So, is LOUDER… perfect? No, the movie definitely has problems, which I’ll address shortly. First, though, here’s the basic gist of the story (no spoilers here, as the story has been well documented): John and Brenda Fareri (played by David Duchovny and Hope Davis) are a well-to-do couple devastated after the loss of their 13 year old daughter, Maria (Olivia Steele-Falconer), to a rare strain of rabies. Maria, a vibrant and loving child, was the glue that held the Ferari family unit together. John – always the thoughtful, quiet one – seems to become more insular and withdrawn, alienating Brenda and their other children (from Brenda’s previous marriage), triplets Stephanie, Michael and Julie (Adelaide Kane, Ben Rosenfield and Morgan Griffin), each grieving in their own fashion and wondering why the man they call Father has abandoned them. At one point, one of the girls tells her Mother that she fels like things are back to the way they were before John became a part of their family: Like they didn’t have a Father. John gains focus when he decides to build a new children’s hospital to better serve the needs of the whole family and to make the kids feel – if not at home – a little more comfortable about their hospital stay. Of course, everybody thinks that John has driven off the rails somewhere, including city leaders, rich friends and the consultant (Bruce Komiske, played by Timothy Hutton) he hires to help bring his dream to fruition. An eventual kitchen showdown between Brenda and John allows both to vent and gain a modicum of understanding of the pain the other is feeling. From there, it isn’t a great stretch to bring Brenda and the three kids on board and start the ball (and donations) rolling. The previous despair is replaced by a sense of hope and a desire to help others in the Fareri’s situation.

LOUDER THAN WORDS (Olivia Steele-Falconer) (publicity still)

The film is narrated by Maria, who is initially seen riding her bicycle on a beautiful fall day (or, maybe, she’s in Heaven). I originally found this premise a bit dubious, to say the least but, as the story progresses, it seems somehow natural that she would be the one to tell this story. LOUDER THAN WORDS encompasses approximately seven years, boiled down into a compact 90-minute package; and, therein, lies the bulk of my problems with the movie. Sometimes it just seems too much like watching MTV on speed for its own good. The film bounces back and forth between past and present, generally via family remembrances, with too many quick cuts and edits and little “black-out” vignettes meant to move the story forward as quickly as possible. Producer Anthony Mastromauro says, in the “behind the scenes” bonus feature, “I think any time you’re telling a story that spans a number of years, the non-linear structure can work in your favor.” Or not, sir. While I did find the movie engaging and the story a great affirmation of life, I would very much have preferred a more traditional, linear telling (which the film does revert to eventually) and, maybe, about another 30-minutes to flesh out a few of those frustrating vignettes.

LOUDER THAN WORDS (Timothy Hutton, Hope Davis and David Duchovny) (publicity still)

Some of John’s flashback sequences are akin to Agent Mulder’s search for his sister (and the truth, which is out there… or so we’re told) in THE X FILES. And, now that I think about it, the hospital where Maria dies kinda looks like one of those draped-in-shadows secret government facilities that Scully and Mulder would occasionally find themselves searching for that truth. As is often the case with a death in the family (particularly a young child), the survivors each handle the loss in their own way. The Fareri family’s coping mechanisms may seem a bit over the top, but… try to put yourself in their shoes (heck, you may have been in those shoes yourself once). I haven’t lost a child, but I watched my Mother go through it twice; it’s a pain that never goes away. So, anyway… the kids are suitably sullen; Brenda is devastated, confused and angry… in that order; John is, first, zombie-like, then, inconsolable and, finally, driven. With Bruce Komiske on board, John and he begin to knock on the doors of the wealthy and the powerful. At one point, a consultant mentions that the best way to build a new hospital is by putting a donor’s name on the building; John steadfastly declares that the hospital will bear his daughter’s name. That is the attitude that has his family and friends, at first, questioning his sanity and, later, joining him in the fight to give these children and their families a state-of-the-art facility, as well as a sense of hope.

LOUDER THAN WORDS (Ben Rosenfield, Hope Davis, David Duchovny, Morgan Griffin and Adelaide Kane) (publicity still)

Duchovny’s performance is understated, sometimes to the point that he appears to be mumbling his lines; he very rarely raises his voice, but when he does, it’s with authority and passion. The sincerity in the faces and eyes of Duchovny, Davis and Hutton are real. In the “behind the scenes” documentary, they each declare how much they believed in this story and how much they believed that it was one that should be told… standard quotes for any actor about any of their projects. This time, though, that same sincerity is in their eyes. They aren’t just giving lip service, they really mean it. Rosenfield, Kane and Griffin play the lost and hurting triplets as if they’re walking through a very bad dream; and, that’s exactly what it feels like, especially when you feel like you’ve lost your parents, too. Olivia Steele-Falconer, at times, seems to be in over her head and overreaching to compensate but, when it’s all said and done, she delivers a moving performance. The Fareri family were all involved in the production of LOUDER THAN WORDS and, I couldn’t imagine how hard that must have been, particularly when they would see this little girl playing their daughter and the uncanny resemblance to Maria.

LOUDER THAN WORDS (The Maria Fareri Children's Hospital; Maria in inset) (uncredited photos) — LOUDER THAN WORDS (The Maria Fareri Children’s Hospital; Maria in inset) (uncredited photos)

So, I told you that it wasn’t perfect and I stated my reasons for that assessment. If you don’t feel the same way I do about the editing style and non-linear storytelling, then by all means, you should check out LOUDER THAN WORDS. It truly is a story that had to be told.

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies Streaming Video | Darren Tracy | September 11, 2014 | Adelaide Kane Anthony Mastromauro Based On a True Story Ben Rosenfield Brenda Fareri Bruce Komiske David Duchovny Drama DVD/Blu-Ray Family Drama Hope Davis John Fareri LOUDER THAN WORDS Maria Fareri Maria Fareri Children's Hospital Morgan Griffin Movie Trailer Movies Olivia Steele-Falconer Streaming Video Timothy Hutton

AFTERMATH

(IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT/EASTLAKE FILMS/LIGHTWAVE ENTERTAINMENT (92 minutes/Unrated); produced 2012, released 2014)

While not perfect, AFTERMATH is still a brilliant examination of the human condition, a world teetering on the brink of elimination. This is more than just another apocalyptic zombie movie, it’s a character study of nine disparate souls, brought together after a well-orchestrated terrorist attack levels every major city, military installation and government facility in the United States; the attacks also target the USA’s allies and, of course, there are retaliatory strikes, leaving the entire planet a cesspool of nuclear destruction and fallout. As with any good tale of the apocalypse, things start as they should… at the end. Things very quickly move to “One month earlier,” where we meet a doctor named Hunter (played by CJ Thomason, we never really know if it’s his first or last name), on a walking tour somewhere in Texas. The first blast hits just as he meets a vehicle with a young woman (Christine Kelly) and her young charge (brother, student, baby-sittee?).

AFTERMATH (Edward Furlong; CJ Thomason; Ross Britz) (photo credit: SCOTT WINIG)

There’s plenty of science to go along with the (very realistic) fiction, as the car dies because all of the electronic components are fried and, as the second blast occurs, the boy turns toward it and basically burns out his retinas. Hunter quickly rallies the troops as the search begins for, first, a vehicle with a diesel engine, then, supplies and a place to wait out the radiation and nuclear fallout; the doctor says that the refugees have approximately ten hours before the radiation settles. Along the way, they pick up another traveler (Monica Keena) and, four hours in, are greeted by a frightened youth with a very big gun. Hunter is shot before he can convey the urgency of the situation.

AFTERMATH (Monica Keena and Andre Royo) (photo credit: SCOTT WINIG)

Just at the ten hour mark, the quartet comes upon a house, knowing that this must be the place they wait out the devastation. Again, Hunter is met with resistance, another gun in his face. The outcome involvesfar less blood, as the doc disarms the would-be killer. We soon find that Brad (Edward Furlong in a brilliantly unhinged role) and his pregnant wife (Jessie Rusu) are at the house of their neighbor, Jonathan (Ross Britz) and his diabetic uncle, for the same reason that Hunter and the others stopped: It’s the only house for miles around with a cellar. More science as Hunter tells the others what they need in the cellar and what they can expect to happen before they can leave the shelter of their new home, a period of at least 30 days.

AFTERMATH (Christine Kelly) (photo credit: SCOTT WINIG)

As the characters wait for the fallout to dissipate, a very real sense of claustrophobia sets in (for the characters and audience, alike) and we – to paraphrase THE REAL WORLD – find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. By this time, the film has taken on a cinema verite aspect, a la THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, to great effect. The final member of the “family,” a friend of Jonathan named Rob (Andre Royo) makes his way to the house to check on his comic-reading and role-playingbuddy, only to be shot in the wrist. The pair share a few moments that are quite poignant, including Rob volunteering to go outside to bury the uncle and, later, the two discussing which Green Lantern is the best, ending the discussion with the Lantern’s oath. Jonathan and Rob aren’t the only ones with those emotional, human moments, though. Everyone is devastated by the death of the uncle, the first of their group to go; Brad, in particular, is riding a roller coaster of emotions, worrying about his wife and unborn child.

AFTERMATH: infected (photo credit: SCOTT WINIG)

Having never been in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, I can’t say for sure, but the emotions and circumstances seem impressively real… which, of course, was the intent of writer Christian McDonald and director Peter Engert. AFTERMATH (which was originally titled REMNANTS) may not be a primer to prepare you for a nuclear holocaust, but it does make you think about how close we are on any given day to this kind of annihilation. Obviously, not everyone in the cellar survives and, the final BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID fight-to-freedom scenario against what appears to be an infectedfamily of homicidal lunatics (or, maybe, they’re a motorcycle gang who are only interested in how much damage they can inflict on others) really tells the story of man’s desire for survival against any odds. There aren’t a lot of zombies here (in fact, Hunter refers to them as being “infected” by the radiation and fallout), just nuclear-charged emotions. And, for me, that’s more than enough to recommend this flick.

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies | Darren Tracy | September 7, 2014 | AFTERMATH Andre Royo Christian McDonald Christine Kelly CJ Thomason DVD/Blu-Ray Edward Furlong Horror Jessie Rusu Monica Keena Movies Peter Engert Ross Britz Science-Fiction Thriller Unrated

VARSITY BLOOD

(IMAGE ENTERTAINMENT/DAVED PRODUCTIONS/FLASHBACK FILMS (86 minutes/Unrated); 2014)

What a strange little film this one is! VARSITY BLOOD is part slasher flick, part PORKY’S style teenage hijinks (with far fewer yucks) and ALL genre farce. While there’s stuff to like about this movie, it has definite problems, chief among them the cardboard acting performances from the majority of the cast (most of the kids and all of the adults). We’ll hit on the other major problem with this one a little later in the review but, first, let’s set the scene for VARSITY BLOOD, shall we?

VARSITY BLOOD (Kiarra Hogan, Natalie Peyton, Elle LaMont, Elyse Bigler and Lexi Giovagnol) (publicity still)

The movie starts – as all good slasher movies should – with a bunch of jocks terrorizing the school mascot and a gaggle of cheerleader being mean to each other and even nastier to those they deem beneath them, which is most of the student body and all of the faculty. These kids are “Warriors,” so the mascot is in Native American dress and carries a tomahawk, a bow and arrows; the big paper mache head the kid has to wear (part Indian war paint, part demented gorilla clown) is enough to give you nightmares, if the snotty cheer squad hasn’t already. Of course, it’s Halloween… it’s always Halloween, right? The bad stuff that leads to THIS bad stuff happened the previous Halloween; apparently, the Warriors only play football on Halloween night, regardless of what day of the week it happens to fall on. There was, of course, underage drinking; tomfoolery was definitely afoot. As the testosterone and alcohol fueled players tossed the football around – in a ritualistic and time-honored chest-thumping pageantry performed to get the female of the species to “ooh” and “aah” and giggle into their hand – the cheerleaders, in like-minded plumage-preening pageantry, were attempting a dangerous pyramid stunt. As is often the case (particularly in the scripted reality of movies and television), a football toss goes awry and a pyramid crumbles, leaving the principal‘s daughter (who quite conveniently, as head cheerleader, was atop the pyramid) in an irrevocable state of… death. She was dead; kaput; bereft of life, she would stunt no more. The kid who threw the errant pigskin suffers serious mental deficiencies (in a blank-eyed, non-verbal kind of way) and is placed in a facility for serious mental deficiency sufferers.

VARSITY BLOOD (Blair Jackson, Lexi Giovagnoli, Melody Herron and Peyton Wood) (publicity still)

Fast forward to this Halloween and a pep rally for the big game. The principal scowls at the players and the cheerleaders and, as he recounts the awesomeness of his defunct offspring, the mascot draws an arrow, nocks it and let’s fly. The intended target? The principal? One of his bubba-like tormentors? The head cheerleader? Of course not! That would be too easy, wouldn’t it? He shoots high above the gym floor, hitting a large cache of orange and black (school colors, don’t you know) confetti. Post-game plans are made to sneak off to a – wait for it! – an abandoned farmhouse deep in the woods, for a little drinking and even more poking and prodding of the opposite sex. The new/chaste girl, Hannah (Lexi Giovagnoli, one of a couple of fairly decent actors, in – unfortunately – a fairly interchangeable role), is forbidden to go but, then, we all knew that she would, right? The token (sorry, but there’s no better term for the character) black cheerleader (and daughter of the unimaginably clueless sheriff) bemoans the fact that she will be the only one without a hookup because the town falls pitifully short on its “brothers” quotient. Other goofy moments that add to the farcical homage to ’80s slasher flicks: The word “chaps” is used by one of the kids to describe the other males in the group; three members of the party are snorting cocaine (is that even a thing anymore?); when the first party-goer is murdered not fifteen feet from the others, do the geniuses take the four steps to their vehicles to get the heck out of there? Of course not! They run into the abandoned house, light a bunch of candles and kerosene lamps and cover all the windows… because nothing says, “Ain’t no one here!,” better than sheets on a window. In a spectacular demonstration of calm-under-pressure, they do somehow manage to secure all of the beer and coke… but, you know, just to take the edge off. By the way, this is probably as good a time as any to confirm the suspicions of such comedians as Chris Rock and the great, sorely missed Patrice O’Neal: That first dead camper was – Duh! Duh! Duh! – the token black cheerleader. And I was really rooting for her, too! Talk about a twist ending, huh? The only black kid in a hundred miles is the one to outsmart the murderer and survives the decapitations, bisections by truck, pitchforkings and toilet drownings to appear in the inevitable sequel. Ohhhh… wait! Yeah, it’s probably best that she died, ’cause if she HAD survived, she woulda moved to someplace safe. Like Detroit. Then, who would the sequel focus on?

VARSITY BLOOD (Wesley Scott, Elyse Bigler, Kiarra Hogan, Lexi Giovagnoli, Blair Jackson, Melody Herron and Peyton Wood) (publicity still)

So, anyway, even though there are no Muffys, Buffys or Biffs in VARSITY BLOOD, there is a Blaine and a Bubba, the latter of which is comatose for much of the movie, then he gets hit on the head and loses consciousness. Thankfully, he comes to just in time to save the… Oops! Sorry, Bubba. You really shouldn’t be sneaking up on chaste cheerleaders who are armed with big butcher knives, trying not to be victim number… whatever of a killer in a mascot costume. Man, this slasher has it good! His victims are picking themselves off!

VARSITY BLOOD (Natalie Peyton) (publicity still)

The sheriff finally gets a clue – actually two clues: First, the kid from last Halloween has escaped from the institution where he has been housed since the principal’s daughter was killed and, second, an old lady called in a complaint about young’uns harassing her (one of the girls escapes and tries to get help, knocking on the lady’s door). The sheriff pulls up to the abandoned house, hears the kids yelling for help because there’s a crazy killer picking them off one at a time and replies, in true adult-in-a-slasher-movie fashion, something that amounts to, “Yeah… okay… I don’t have time to worry about that now… where’s my little girl?” At which point, the killer speaks: “Right here, sheriff. Under my feet!” A great line that would have sounded way more menacing if the actor delivering it was even half way good. Or, as has been speculated elsewhere, maybe these performances are purposely lousy, adding to the ’80s cheese-factor. I’ll leave that one up to you to decide after watching VARSITY BLOOD yourself. So, let’s recap, shall we? There are, by my count, at least seven possible choices for slasher du jour, including the principal’s daughter (I never count out the dead people in one of these things… Jason Voorhees, anyone?). Pretty much everyone you’d expect to die (and a few others, just for good measure), does. And, finally, after the reveal of the slasher’s identity (a real bait and switch, but one I’d actually thought of and dismissed as too much of a stretch), there are still some bodies – alive or otherwise – unaccounted for, virtually guaranteeing a sequel.

As far as slasher movies go, VARSITY BLOOD is definitely one. How good of one, again, I’ll leave up to you. I mentioned earlier that I had one more major complaint about this flick. Here it is: When the sun goes down and the lights are off (or, in most cases, nonexistent) this is one dark movie! Now, I’m not talking about gloomy, spooky, Gothicy dark; I’m talking full-on can’t see your hands in front of your face dark. I thought it may have been the settings on my TV, so I turned the brightness all the way up and, though it helped a bit, most of the killings and pretty much everything that happens in and around the old farmhouse are fairly well blacked out. It looks like writer/director Jake Helgren was intent on using only “natural” lighting, ie: The moon, the candles, the campfire. Maybe you’ll have better luck with the brightness control than I did… if you’ve got the guts to watch this one all the way through. You can take that last statement any way you like; I am not here to judge you (only the movies you watch).

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies | Darren Tracy | August 21, 2014 | Blair Jackson DVD/Blu-Ray Elle LaMont Elyse Bigler Halloween Horror Jake Helgren Kiarra Hogan Lexi Giovagnoli Melody Herron and Peyton Wood Movies Natalie Peyton Slasher Movie Unrated VARSITY BLOOD Wesley Scott

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

(DVD and Video-On-Demand; WATERCOLOR ENTERTAINMENT/ARC ENTERTAINMENT (116 minutes/Rated PG-13); 2014)

A gentle, unassuming movie, HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS (production title: WATERCOLOR POSTCARDS) reminds me of those indie movies from the ’70s (THE LIFE AND TIMES OF GRIZZLY ADAMS or any of those back-to-nature things) or one of those Christian movies that churches used to show to kids on a fairly regular basis where the quiet guy with the long hair and beard turned out to be Jesus. And, like most of those movies, one of the lead actors actually wrote the script, as well. Though there’s a horse present and the movie does have some definite spiritual overtones, wolves, bears and coyotes are all no-shows; likewise, the Savior is absent… at least in a physical manifestation.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS (Bailee Madison and Conrad Goode) (publicity still)

Alright… before this thing gets out of hand and even sillier, let’s just get back to HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS. This is a story about family. Specifically, it shows that family isn’t necessarily confined to a shared DNA. The story revolves around 10-year old Cotton (played by Bailee Madison, who played Selena Gomez’ younger brother for awhile in the Disney Channel series, THE WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE), who is the adopted daughter of a dying Texas town. Everyone watches out for Cotton just as she watches over her alcoholic mother (an all but unrecognizable Joan Van Ark, in a small but memorable role). Cotton is a dreamer; early in the story, she tells friend, neighbor and protector Butch (scriptwriter, producer and former New York Giants/Tampa Bay Buccaneers offensive lineman, Conrad Goode) that her Momma was going to Heaven and that everything was going to be okay because, “I saw it in my dreams last night.” Indeed, that night her mother died.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS (Laura Bell Bundy, Bailee Madison and Conrad Goode) (publicity still)

The county sheriff is on hand, performing his sworn duty by collecting Cotton and taking her to be made a ward of the state. As he and Butch are debating the finer points of Texas law that say the best interest of the child must come first, Cotton’s older sister, Sunny (Laura Bell Bundy), a failed actress now living in Los Angeles, shows up to make peace and say goodbye to her mother. It seems that the hand-painted (by Butch) postcards that Cotton has been sending every day for several weeks had, indeed, reached her (physically, if not emotionally). Sunny discovers that she’s too late to say goodbye and the sheriff tells her that the girls’ mother had named Sunny guardian to Cotton: “You get Cotton; Cotton gets the house.” Sunny reluctantly agrees to accept guardianship of Cotton and, overwhelmed, takes to the bathroom and the bottle of pills in her bag. It would seem that whatever misery Sunny tried to run from had followed her to LA.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS (Conrad Goode, Laura Bell Bundy andBailee Madison) (publicity still)

As Sunny begins to settle in, her past, in the form of ex-boyfriend Jackson (Rhett Giles) comes calling, every bit as mean-spirited and belligerent as she had remembered. It seems that Jackson doesn’t mind inflicting a little bit of pain on the women he loves: He berates and demeans his current girlfriend, apparently, just for being there. As the story unfolds, we discover that Sunny’s problem with pills stems from a drunk-driving incident on a date with Jackson; he was driving, she injured her back and, as he so eloquently states, got “a cheap abortion.” Jackson and his father (a dastardly turn by Steve Eastin) are two of a kind: Jackson bullies and berates to get his way; his father, an unscrupulous bank owner, uses the law to get his way. Jackson manages a car dealership and hires Sunny to a janitorial position to reassert his dominance over her; Mister Morgan is foreclosing on a bar owned by the kindhearted Ledball (Jonathan Banks), a childhood friend of the girls’ mother, as well as making the sheriff order Butch to close down the roadside stand where he sells his artwork.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS (Bailee Madison, Conrad Goode and Laura Bell Bundy) (publicity still)

Sunny, still planning to exit as quickly as possible, finds that she is beginning to care deeply for the little sister that she barely knows. She also finds herself starting to care about the soft-spoken, postcard painting, songwriting ex-football player next door. After Cotton hears Sunny sing, she has another dream that will save them, Butch, Ledball’s bar and the entire town of Bent Arrow. She then puts into motion a plan to get Sunny to sing and Butch to accompany her on guitar at a Fourth of July picnic, so Ledball will hire them to play at his bar. The plan is ultimately successful and a date is set for the duo to perform. A near tragedy cements the pair’s love for each other and they begin in earnest to prepare for their debut. As Cotton, Sunny and Butch are just beginning to find the happiness that has eluded them for so long, tragedy strikes again.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS (Laura Bell Bundy and Conrad Goode) (publicity still)

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS is a family movie, but it isn’t a happy kiddie sort of affair; it’s rough around the edges, with some course language, a lot of drinking, some drug use and plenty of sexual situations. Those rough edges will keep the older kids and the adults in the family interested in the story and these very human characters; the gentle family scenes will keep the little ones involved. It is, ultimately, a story about the hope for something better, the triumph of family and unconditional love that isn’t limited to the bits of biological make-up that determines who your relatives are. The final half of this film is as gut-wrenchingly emotional as any family oriented movie since, maybe, BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA. I would strongly advise that you don’t let the kids watch this one alone; pop some corn and curl up with them on the couch, at least for the first time through.

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies | Darren Tracy | August 19, 2014 | Bailee Madison Conrad Goode DVD/Blu-Ray Family Drama HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS Joan Van Ark Jonathan Banks Laura Bell Bundy Movies Rhett Giles Video-On-Demand

RAGE

(DVD/Blu-Ray and Digital; Image Entertainment/Hannibal Classics/Patriot Pictures (98 minutes/Unrated); 2014)

After decades of watching THE THREE STOOGES and slasher movies, I thought I understood brutality. After living through the onset of the TWILIGHT saga, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber, I realized just how wrong I was… that was true brutality. Now, along comes Nicholas Cage in RAGE and I humbly bow to the utter brutality, the unbelievable carnage of this tale of redemption lost, revenge and blind, uncontrollable… well, you read the name of the movie, right? I‘vealways considered Nicolas Cage to be the poor man’s John Travolta. As the only role I ever liked Travolta in was Vinnie Barbarino in WELCOME BACK, KOTTER (okay… maybe he wasn’t horrible in PULP FICTION, but still… ) you can understand where Mister Cage falls on my list of favorite actors. Every Cage performance I’ve ever seen is one dimensional; like Travolta (and Jim Carrey and Will Farrell), the guy plays the same character every time out! I loved KICK ASS; Nicolas Cage’s acting in KICK ASS… not so much. Having said that, even though he really doesn’t change his MO this time out, he somehow manages to carry the film in a rather impressive fashion, facial contortions aside.

RAGE (Nicolas Cage and Aubrey Peeples) (publicity still)

Cage stars as Paul Maguire, a man who – though a loving father and husband and well-respected businessman – has a few dark secrets in his past. The presumed gangland kidnapping and subsequent murder of his teenage daughter sends Maguire into a spiral of grief and anger, fueling a violent rage that he thought was a distant memory, a part of his past never to be visited again. As the story progresses, we learn that the death of his first wife (and the mother of daughter Caitlin) saved Paul from himself and the self-destructive criminal activities of his youth. We’re never really sure where his money comes from (though we have a pretty good idea), but it seems that the mayor, as well as Detective Peter Saint John (portrayed by a stoic Danny Glover) know of his mob connections and his criminal past, possibly turning a blind eye, as Maguire’s company continues to bring prosperity to their city.

RAGE (Danny Glover and Nicolas Cage) (publicity still)

As the distraught Maguire continues to deteriorate mentally (and morally), he seeks out his old gang, also respected businessmen by this time, to mete out – not justice – a horrible retribution on those responsible for his misery. The “old gang” (a brooding, in debt bar owner played by Max Ryan and a troubled, womanizing drunk played by Michael McGrady) are – at least on the surface – willing to back Paul’s play, no matter what. It seems that the three had a bit of a run in with the Russian mob as teenagers and, now, it looks like someone has been talking out of class. That’s the only explanation in Maguire’s mind that makes any sense; who else would want to see him suffer? The trio go on a brutal rampage looking for the head of the Russian mafia, a man named Chernov (deliciously portrayed by Pasha Lychnikoff, the go-to guy in Hollywood if you need a cold and calculating, quietly violent Eastern European criminal type). Ryan’s character, Kane, is eventually captured by the Russians and, as he’s being tortured for information, Maguire frantically tries to contact Danny (McGrady) for help. Remember what I told you about him earlier? Booze and women?

RAGE (Pasha Lychnikoff) (publicity still)

As Detective Saint John continues to confront Maguire about his actions, it is painfully obvious that he has no clue how to bring this killing spree vendetta to an end; arrest is apparently not the answer (an officer actually has him in ‘cuffs after a car chase that results in much vehicular damage and scores of insurance claims; Saint John releases him). The body count continues to rise, as does the property damage. Maguire continues his downward spiral, reliving the incident with the Russians from his youth until the audience has the full backstory and a fairly cohesive idea of who the killers are and why. This is far as I go in revealing the plot to RAGE; anything else would ruin the whole thing for you. There is a psychological element at work here that will have you examining your own life, thinking, “How would I react if someone I loved were kidnapped and murdered? Would I go to these extreme measures for revenge or justice?” Obviously, RAGE, takes the answers to the ultimate extreme. So, let’s just say that this flick is a thrill ride of revenge and betrayal and, in the end, the bad guy doesn’t always win, but… neither, necessarily, do the good guys!

RAGE (Max Ryan, Nicolas Cage and Michael McGrady) (publicity still)

For those of you who are into such things, the DVD (and, I’m assuming, the other formats, too) has a few bonus features, including some “making of… ” featurettes, deleted scenes and an alternate ending.

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies | Darren Tracy | August 17, 2014 | Action/Adventure Aubrey Peeples Danny Glover Digital DVD/Blu-Ray Max Ryan Michael McGrady Mobster Movie Movies Nicolas Cage Pasha Lychnikoff RAGE Special Features Unrated

JESSE

(DVD and Digital; ARC ENTERTAINMENT (86 minutes/Rated R); produced 2011, released 2014)

JESSE is the story of a troubled cop seeking peace in a bottle… actually, several bottles. She has recently returned home only to become the third cog in a severely dysfunctional family wheel, alongside her dope smoking (and very loud) mother and her dope selling (and very large) brother. When her brother goes missing – except for a foot – Jesse (played to the “Jersey Jewish Princess” hilt by Stephanie Finochio, a former professional wrestler known as Trinity) seeks retribution on the Mafia types who she believes killed him because he owed them more than ten thousand dollars in gambling debt. Along the way, she meets several dubious characters and an even greater number of dubious bottles of booze. Eric Roberts shows up (as he is wont to do) as a sympathetic bartender who recognizes Jesse from a news report about her walking into a market (or a liquor store… who knows with her) in the middle of a robbery. The bad guys yell at her; she doesn’t care for that, so… she shoots them, becoming an instant hero. Of course, she has sex with the bartender.

JESSE (Stephanie Finochio) (publicity still)

After threatening the mob guys with various kinds of pain and suffering, she goes home to find that her mother has been savagely beaten. Her next stop? A gun store where she purchases an over-the-counter cure for her problems: A sawed-off shotgun. After a series of strange sidetracks that muddle the plot and do nothing to move the story along, Jesse finds out about a meeting of several of the racketeers she believes are responsible for the discomfort recently visited upon her brother and mother (and ex-dog). Upon arriving at the scene, she discovers… her brother (minus one foot – in a brilliant strategical move, he amputated his own foot as part of a moneymaking scheme to sell his product at sports memorabilia shows, disguised as collectible baseball cards). Brother Mitchell (played by bad actor Mitchell Walters, swimming in a rancid cesspool of bad actors) is busy scamming the crew he used to scam the guys that wanted him dead… but, that was all a scam, too. Guess who gets the first shotgun blast from Jesse. So now, Mitchell has a hole in him almost as big as the plot of this film.

A JESSE gallery (Tamara Markowitz; Richard Lampese, Anthony Trentacosta and Dave M Lipsky; Stephanie Finochio and Michael Wright) (publicity stills)

It all sounds like fun, huh? Yeah… it’s all fun and games ’til someone loses a foot. Or until you have to sit through JESSE. To be fair, I really wanted to like this movie… the premise sounded so promising. So, thinking that I may be wrong or having a bad day or whatever, I asked a friend to watch JESSE, too. He made it through less than five minutes before shutting the thing off, declaring, “You’re kidding, right? I can’t handle any more of this screeching. It’s like watching JERSEY SHORE. Except those people were less annoying.” I don’t know; I guess somewhere there’s somebody who’s gonna watch this thing and think it’s the greatest flick they’ve ever seen. Maybe Snooki, if she gets her ADD under control. Wait… that’s it! Everybody involved in this movie obviously suffers from ADD and were off their meds! No, that theory doesn’t fly because Eric Roberts, Armand Assante and William Forsythe (generally fine actors if they’re given a decent script) are in it. Okay… I got it: Everybody but those three suffers from ADD; Assante, Forsythe and Roberts were paid truckloads of money to appear in an attempt to class up the proceedings. But, even they shoulda realized that you can’t shine a turd. No matter how hard you rub, you just end up getting it all over your hands. And on your resume. If you must watch, please place all sharp objects out of your reach. That way, you won’t be tempted to jab things in your eyes or ears to make JESSE go away.

DVD/Blu-Ray HEY, MA! WATCH THIS Movies | Darren Tracy | August 12, 2014 | Armand Assante Digital Drama DVD/Blu-Ray Eric Roberts JESSE Mobster Movie Movies Police Drama Stephanie Finochio William Forsythe

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